Pain
by thecivilunrest
Summary: It always takes forever to say good bye. Zuko/Katara


**Disclaimer: I don't own _Avatar: The Last Airbender _nor the picture that inspired this story. **

**A/N: I don't support Zutara, usually, but this is a request, folks, plus the picture by ~smartybloom over on dA is really awesome and really inspired me. Go check it out. It's for Zutara Week's prompt, pain. **

_Pain_

Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say good bye? -Unknown

Katara crumples the letter in her hand and brings her palms to her eyes to try and staunch the tears that were going to begin to fall if she didn't stop them now. She has no idea why this is hurting so much, why each word feels like a stab in the heart.

She just has to go back home. If things were different Katara would be ecstatic. She hasn't seen the South Pole in so long. And yet... she's actually grown fond of the Fire Nation, which is where she has been spending most of her time after the war. She now actually- well, she doesn't exactly _enjoy_ the heat- but at least she's gotten used to it. She likes the islands and the way that the water touches the earth. She'll miss all of the vegetation and the hot springs.

If she goes back home she won't be able to be with her friends anymore. That's the kicker right there. Whenever she thinks about that is when her heart clenches and her eyes sting. She doesn't want to leave them, any of them.

Katara loves them and they've become her family.

For some reason whenever she pictures leaving them all Zuko's face is the one that stands out the most.

oOo

This is the goodbye. She's leaving today and this is it. There's no turning back now, once she departs from this place she's gone for good.

Katara has already said good bye to all of her friends except one, and he's the one that she dreads leaving the most. She doesn't want to tell him good bye, but she has to see him one last time before she goes away.

Katara takes a deep breath to steady herself and then decides to go look for him. He wasn't with everyone else when she said good bye and she wonders why. _He's _the one that she really wanted to see (no matter how much it would hurt), _he's _the one that before she goes she has to see a final glimpse of his face.

Maybe this is his way of telling her that he won't miss her.

The thought feels like a rusty knife was just thrusted into her stomach. Of course that's not it, it can't be. She can't be the only one that feels like this. These feelings have to be mutual or else the world is just playing a cruel, cruel joke on her.

"Hey." Zuko straightens up from his hiding place behind the pillar and Katara's heart leaps up into her throat. She feels like she can barely talk, but she knows that she's going to have to.

It's always hardest to say good bye.

"Hey. Weren't you going to come and see me off?" Katara manages to choke out, the tears that she thought she had already cried out coming to her eyes. She refuses to cry about this, she refuses.

"Of course," Zuko says easily, "but I got caught up with a few things..." he finishes his excuse lamely and it hangs awkwardly between the two of them because they both know that it's false. He was just avoiding this, the pain of losing her, and they both know it.

"I'm going to miss you," she tells him. She's already said this what feels like a thousand times today, but for some reason this time the words ache coming out of her mouth.

Emotions scatter over his face before it rests on his usual composed expression. "I'm going to miss you too." The look in his eyes in that moment makes bruises on her heart, because she can tell that this feeling of agony is shared between the two of them. It isn't just her and it isn't just him.

Katara opens her arms, an invitation. "Aren't you going to give me a hug?" she asks, her voice cracking slightly on the last syllable, and she hopes that he doesn't notice.

Zuko just looks at her for an intense moment before closing the gap between them in three long strides and suddenly she's in his arms and all she can feel is Zuko Zuko Zuko. She presses herself closer to him and she can smell the musky scent that _is _Zuko. Katara brings her hand and places it on the side of his neck, and suddenly she can feel his pulse, hard and hot and fast. This feeling is bliss.

But it ends too quickly, just like everything else. Zuko lets go of her, but keeps his hands on her shoulders and just looks at her. He's been crying, and that tears her heart wide open. She has been crying too, but she doesn't notice her own tears, just his.

She touches his face gently and the warm wetness disappears beneath her fingers, a bit of quick waterbending done with a light flick of her wrist.

In that one moment she sees their future, if they ever where to have one, flash before her eyes. They would have three beautiful babies, he would be Fire Lord and she would be Fire Lady. They would have a hard time fixing up the despair that the war caused the Fire Nation, but it would be easier than having to do it alone because they would have each other. Their life would be full of passion and fighting and love, and above all, happiness. Zuko would find his mother and they would most likely live happily ever after until they were both old and grey.

And then just like that it's gone. Fantasies can only last a moment anyway.

They might have had it though, if he would only say it. If he would ask her to stay with him she would and then they could be together forever. But he isn't going to ask, and she knows this. Now they will both have to be alone, and the only person stopping them from being together is the other.

She hugs him one more time, far more quickly than before, and then says, "I have to go now."

Zuko nods, not trusting himself to speak. He watches as she walks away and knows that he has no choice but to let her go. They may never see each other again and they both know it.

oOo

It's been ten years since she last saw his face, five years since she has heard from him, and one day since she last thought of him.

Every single day she thinks of him and she sees his face, his beautiful face, in her mind and she aches to hug him again. Just one more time, she thinks, and she would be complete.

At first they used to write as often as they could, which wasn't that often because they were both busy reshaping the world, but their letters were never as personal as Katara would have liked. She read about what it was like to be the Fire Lord, how boring all the meetings were, and how his council often asked him when he was going to be married and how he never bothered to answer them.

She wrote about how great it was to be home, about the often humors things that Sokka had done that day, or about how the Southern Water Tribe was doing.

They never once offered any information on how they were doing personally or about how much they missed each other, but that feeling was always there, hidden in between the lines and written underneath the tone of their letters.

But eventually the pain became too much and Katara couldn't bear to answer him anymore. Soon they went on with their lives, often thinking about the other but unable to do anything about it.

"Katara!" Sokka's voice shocked Katara out of her thoughts. She hadn't heard him this upbeat in a long time, not ever since he had come home alone.

The children of Hakoda must have had a curse put upon them at birth that they have to love someone who could never be with them, because Sokka had realized far too late who he had truly loved and was now in the Southern Water Tribe as much alone as Katara.

"Katara, get out here, you're going to want to see this."

Katara warily stepped out of her tent. Though they had both gotten older, Sokka still liked his jokes, and the last time he had told her that she was going to want to see something it hadn't been pleasant.

The snow falling from the sky was not white, but an ashy color. The black snow. Once this would have meant panic and chaos and fear, but now this was hardly a problem. They were probably just traders. Katara had no inkling why Sokka would insist on her coming out just for this. This wasn't important enough for Katara to stop thinking about Zuko.

Except... wait... the flags weren't like any traders flags that Katara had ever seen. In fact, they seemed like the royal seal. But they couldn't be... because if they were... that would have to mean that Zuko was on the ship.

For the first time in far too long Katara's heart leaped into her throat and she raced through the crowd to get to the front.

And there he was, looking older and more mature, but there was still the boy that she loved in his features. "Zuko!" Katara cried as she rushed towards him, his guards be damned.

And just like that the pain that the two of them had been feeling for ten years was healed and it was as if there was never a wound in the first place.


End file.
